"About This Life" (Acts 5:20) # 4
Contemplation is an invitation to
surrender and become whom I look upon in prayer of the heart--whom I am meant
to be, a new self waiting to be born and discovered
in my deepest center; for, my true identity is found in my deepest center
within me. This true self is like
precious hidden treasure, awaiting discovery and development. It is God's most
precious gift to me. My deepest, truest center within is relational. This
deepest center is my identity in Jesus. I gradually become whom I contemplate.
For, true contemplative prayer is both a transforming and enlightening gaze. In
contemplation I look upon "him whom my heart loves" (Songs 3: 4), upon him whom
I have also pierced by my sins (see John 19:37).
True contemplation brings forth a
spiritual awakening whereby I gradually become aware that my deepest, truest
self is Jesus. My true identity is really a deepening union with God: It's no
longer my heart but his, no longer my life but his. I must allow God to
gradually transform my mind and heart into that of Jesus so that I become truly
Christian. Consider that at first Mary Magdalene did not recognize the
resurrected Jesus in the garden on the day of the resurrection (see John
20:14-15). I only discover Jesus in the "interior garden" of my heart over time
through the grace of a gradual
growing awareness and recognition. In becoming whom I contemplate, I become
"God's Heart for the world"--God's counter cultural Heart for the world; for,
my true identity is not of this world.
With true identity comes a renewed
vision of the world radiating from the Heart of Jesus crucified. I must always
remember that his most profound identity was exposed on Calvary. In Jesus'
greatest act of love on Calvary I find an identity so deeply rooted in God.
Mature living is only found by living by my core identity. Only contemplation
can bring forth mature love. Therefore, there is an absolute necessity to
cooperate with grace and allow the conversion process to take place within me.
For, I am only my true self in Jesus. He desires to live passionately alive in
the Spirit within me.
Scriptures: Psalm 27:4; Luke 24: 13-15, 30-35;
Rom. 12:1-2
Questions: Am I falling in love with Jesus to
the point of letting go of myself? Am I spending too much of my prayer time
"navel gazing", focusing upon my own wants, desires and worries?
